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I looked at them both; suddenly grateful for the choice I’d made to keep them close. A lot could be said about the company a person keeps, the people they choose to surround themselves with. With my own determination flailing, I wasn’t ashamed to admit I needed them.
In my own moment of weakness, I was humbled that they didn’t chastise their Alpha for being vulnerable. It showed the marks of true friendship—a bond that would continue to carry us into the future.
Even though I didn’t find condemnation in their faces, I still felt the need to apologize. As much as it killed me to be locked away, common sense had broken through my grief.
“Daniel . . . Alex.” I paused for a moment, not wanting to utter the heavy words of my heart. “She’s gone. Truly gone. I can’t feel her anymore.” My voice cracked with grief as tears threatened to fall. “She’s not here.” I touched the side of my head, signaling the devastating loss.
“You don’t know, yet. Don’t assume until someone comes and tells you, personally,” Alex said. His counsel was sound, but for someone else. Not me.
“Mason,” Daniel added, his distress clearly showing.
“Please, don’t say it,” I whispered. I couldn’t bear to hear him speak words of condolences. Worse, I didn’t want him to utter false hope.
“She’ll live. Her heart will beat, again. Just hang on.” Daniel nodded with a tired smile.
The three of us stood there in silence. Could it be? Was that what we were waiting for and what my future hinged on?
A heart beat?
Tears began streaming down my cheeks.
“Mason?”
I held my hand up to Daniel, blocking out all distractions, holding my breath and willing to feel and hear it once more, before finally allowing myself to believe.
Burying my head in my hands, I sobbed for what I’d almost lost.
****
The room had been silent for a long time. I’d lost count of how many minutes had passed since Lynn had disappeared.
I was too busy second-guessing whether she’d actually been here telling us Darcy had survived, or whether it was my imagination. I wanted to believe with certainty that she had pulled through, but with each breath I took, doubt chipped away at my nerves.
Testing the connection for the hundredth time, I pushed a little harder, quieting my mind and opening myself up to her.
There was the slightest hint of an echo—something just out of reach. I stretched out again and found nothing.
She wasn’t there; and that realization made my stomach feel like it had dropped through the floor.
It had been my own vain expectation. Hell, for all I knew, I’d simply heard my own thudding heart in my chest.
Letting out a long, drawn out breath, I lifted my head to glance about the room. Through the small paned window on the far wall, I could see the faint hint of the approaching dawn, signaling that a new day was approaching with no more news from upstairs.
I longed for some kind of confirmation through our connection. It was so strong; yet I’d felt our mental pathway break. That was a fact. One moment she’d been talking to me and then she vanished. I’d tried following to where she’d retreated, but there was no trace. It was as if she’d never been there, the sweetness our mating ritual had brought had evaporated.
It wasn’t even like back when our link was sporadic and temperamental. Even with that, I’d had some semblance of presence from her, soft caresses as her thoughts occasionally brushed against mine.
Whatever Devlin did had severed everything; so what made me think that magically it had been restored and I could sense her again?
I didn’t voice my doubts to Daniel or Alex, who sat with their backs against the wall by the door. I didn’t have the heart to dash their hopes, too. Light had erupted in their eyes when Lynn spoke those blessed words. There would be plenty of time to return to that numbing emptiness when . . . if I was wrong.
“Do you want anything to eat or drink, Mason?” Daniel asked, finally standing up and stretching out his tired muscles. I could hear the subtle cracking of bones as his back popped, followed by a relieved moan.
“No, thank you,” I murmured. I couldn’t bear the idea of food.
“I’m going to join you,” Alex added, getting to his feet, as well. I didn’t speak a word as they quietly left with promises of returning shortly. I ignored Daniel’s worried glance as he closed the door.
My body screamed to shift positions—anything to alleviate the tension in my own muscles. I’d never been able to sit for long, always feeling the need to move and be active. It had been both a blessing and a curse growing up. Living on Pack property always provided something to do, some kind of mischief to enjoy, which usually led to shenanigans that gave my mother fits. As much as she loved me, there was a small part of her that wished she could quell the rambunctious nature of her son.
I refused to budge now, using the discomfort to keep me in the here and now. If I became comfortable, I ran the risk of thinking. Thinking was dangerous. It led to the craziness that made my friends worry.
Besides, now that I was alone in the room, my sole purpose was to stare at the closed door and will either Devlin, or Darcy, to walk through it. I needed someone to come and tell me everything was okay.
My sanity needed it.
I’d always thought the love I had for Darcy was all consuming. After the night I’d just spent, I discovered how wrong I was. The depths of my feelings for her were still intact, but it was overshadowed by my fear of losing her.
Truly losing her.
Come on, I growled beneath my breath, my fingers drumming impatiently on the side of my knees as I wrapped my arms around my legs. My focus was absolute. As if by sheer will power alone, I could bring them to me.
Sensing a noise approaching, I stood, my hands clenching and unclenching beside me. Nervous energy poured from me and my heart began racing. Someone was coming—someone other than Daniel or Alex. The footstep was light, suggesting it wasn’t Devlin either, and at that moment, my hope took flight.
It was my Darcy. She was okay. And once I saw her for myself, I would pull her into my arms and never, ever, let her go. Overprotectiveness be damned.
Her name was on my lips as the door handle turned, but my nose caught the scent of the newcomer, stopping me.
Lynn tentatively peeked into the room, scanning the outside of the cage for the others, before finally looking at me. She seemed older than the last time I saw her; as if watching her daughter undergo the conversion had aged her quickly.
Weariness weighed her down and her body language all but screamed just how difficult the night had been. I found no hint that things had gone well. There was no smile on her face, no relief signaling Darcy was out of the woods, so to speak. No, she appeared as someone with something to say, but unsure about how to approach the topic.
“Mason.” Just my name and tears began to fall, again. I didn’t even bother trying to wipe them away.
“Did she?” The two-word question was all I could utter.
She licked her lips, hesitating for a second before chewing on her bottom lip. She was nervous. I could all but smell it in the air. It agitated my wolf and grief came roaring to the forefront. The time for calmness and positive thinking, or whatever mumbo jumbo Daniel had tried to instill in me earlier, fled.
Lynn was here to tell me my mate had died.
“I…” I staggered backward.
“Oh no, Mason, no. I’m so sorry. She’s okay.” She rushed forward, her arms carefully pushing between the bars to reach for me. Like a magnet, I closed the distance between us and grabbed hold of her hand, gripping it like a lifeline.
“But?” I was confused.
“I’m so sorry,” she repeated, compassion filling her delicate features—the face that held so many similarities to Darcy’s. “Oh, I can imagine what you were thinking when I came in. I wasn’t thinking. Actually, I was. I’m exhausted; but still. I didn’t mean to worry you.” By the
way she rambled, I could tell the whole experience had obviously taken a toll on her.
“So, she’s alive?” I allowed myself the tiniest speck of hope to flood my voice.
“Yes, honey. Yes. It was a little touch and go at first, because she wouldn’t drink from Devlin; but he was able to get her to obey him. From what he said before I left, everything’s going according to schedule. The blood exchange is complete and her body is adapting to accommodate her new vampiric nature. Devlin said he wished he could come deliver this news himself, but he didn’t want to leave her alone. He’s not sure when she’ll wake, but it’s important she not be alone when it happens. She’s going to be disorientated . . .”
“And hungry,” I added.
“From what he explained, that first pang of true blood lust is where the risk of her becoming crazy lies. The trick is to balance it with feedings, and he will talk her through it. Everything will be different for her.”
Lynn didn’t say it, but I knew we both thought it. We weren’t sure how Darcy would be or whether her dual predators would be able to strike an accord and reside within her peacefully.
My heart knew all the reasons why we’d both agreed to this—the need to fill that void inside her left by the loss of her witch powers. But the idea that she wouldn’t be the same haunted me. Would she be more vampire than wolf? Would she lose those aspects she cherished? Those traits that mated us?
“She’ll be okay. She’s strong and she has you to help her through this. I’ve watched you two, and I really believe that together there’s nothing you can’t overcome. This is just one more obstacle to deal with.”
“It’s one hell of an obstacle, though.”
“True, but the time for doubt is over. This is your new reality, as a couple, and I know you’ll rise to the challenge.” Dropping my hand, she cupped the side of my jaw through the bars. “I’m so very glad she has you, Mason. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband for my daughter.” She searched my face, staring deeply into my eyes before quietly adding, “And I dare say you’re lucky to have her.”
“I couldn’t bear to lose her.”
“I know. I could hear your grief reverberating throughout the house. I sent pack members who were home away for the night. Your pain was stirring everyone up and the communal emotion of apprehension was unsettling to Darcy. We were worried about what kind of affect it would have on the process.”
“I tried to keep it together.”
“Don’t you dare apologize, do you hear me? I would’ve been exactly the same had it been my husband. There’s a sacred bond between mates that goes deeper than even those shared with family. You feel what you feel.” The fierceness in her voice made me smile a little. Darcy was very much her mother’s daughter.
“I just . . .” I didn’t know what to add. I was worn out and exhausted. But most of all, I just wanted to see my wife. “Did Devlin tell you how long it would be before I can see her?”
“It shouldn’t be much longer.”
“Will you wait with me?” At that moment, I didn’t sound like an Alpha who was used to being strong for everyone. I was the young boy looking for the comfort of a mother. For years I’d been the rock others had relied on, the voice of reason and a source of hope. I suddenly had nothing left for myself.
“That’s why I’m here, son.” Her endearment caused my throat to constrict with emotion. I gripped her hand tightly, drawing as much of her warmth into my cold body as I could.
We’d get through this.
Darcy would survive.
There was no other option I’d accept.
Chapter Two
Darcy
Flashes of awareness surfaced. Noise. Smells. Excruciating pain—the kind that had me screaming and screaming and screaming.
I was on overload as all my senses bombarded me at once. I couldn’t bear the way each sensation seemed to grate over my skin, as if I was being flayed alive.
I was dying. I wanted to die. In the recesses of my mind, I knew there were reasons for me to fight against what was happening, to hold on to the fleeting hope that hovered above me—teasing me, taunting me. As each second passed, I became more and more convinced that any expectation of surviving this was futile.
I was being tortured and I wanted it to end.
Now.
There was nothing else to focus on, nothing that proved worthy of my trying to survive the conversion. Mason couldn’t fault me for giving up. He wouldn’t want me suffering like this. A voice whispered that it wouldn’t last, that relief was coming, but it lied.
It lied like the ugly, devious voice of reason it was.
Each breath I struggled to take sent jets of fire through my veins. My insides felt like they were liquefying and it was endless.
No, no one would blame me or think less of me if I simply gave myself over to the temptation and just let my body go.
I’d gone into this scared, but determined. I was a fighter. I was a wolf. I was the mate to the Alpha of the Mystic Wolves.
Mason.
He was a lifeline that felt out of reach. No matter how much I struggled, my fingertips barely touched his pleading image before he disappeared.
I was losing it. Losing him. I was losing me.
Death was approaching; and like a coward, I welcomed it.
All these thoughts took mere seconds to experience. And then, in a blink of an eye, I was gone.
****
“Darcy. Answer me!”
A frantic voice pierced through the agony I was trying to block out. It was familiar and I felt myself leaning toward the sound.
“Keep fighting, damn it. No matter how appealing it is, you have to keep fighting.”
Fighting. Was that what I was supposed to do?
My body resisted my efforts, my limbs tired. There was a spark of courage that started somewhere in my chest, struggling to combat the constant pressure to sleep. It was tiny; a speck in comparison to the other emotions warring inside me, but it was there. And it refused to be ignored or smothered. I knew what it was and where it came from.
It was me, my humanity, and the resilience of my wolf—the small light in a sea of darkness like a beacon guiding me home.
I latched on to it. I didn’t know how, but with everything inside me, I chose to listen. I chose to fight.
“Help. Me.” My words came out strangled, my throat scratchy and sore. It was a different kind of pain, though. It was something I recognized and I didn’t shy away from. In that second, I knew. I knew without a doubt. I would survive this.
“I’m here. You’re doing so good, Darcy. A little longer and the worst will be over. Just hold on.”
“Devlin?” The warmth spread over my senses and memories filtered back . . . of his face as he looked down on me . . . of razor sharp teeth descending, slicing through my skin. He’d been the one to convert me. My best friend and guardian. My uncle.
“Yes, it’s me. Damn, you scared me.” His voice revealed it all. I hadn’t opened my eyes yet, but I didn’t have to. I knew exactly what I’d see—someone tired and determined. Suddenly, I needed to look. I needed something real, other than the pain still wracking my body.
Just one peek and it almost crushed me. Fear all but radiated from him. I’d known Devlin most of my life, and there were years he’d only been able to watch me from the shadows. We’d gone through so much together, each experience forging a strong bond between us. I trusted him; so when Zane announced I could be saved, but it had to be Devlin who did it, there was no faltering. Sure, I’d had my doubts, but it hadn’t been in placing my soul in Devlin’s hands.
I knew he’d protect me and do everything in his power to see me safely through the process, but just that one peek told me everything. This had been a close call. The panic that still etched deep wrinkles in his brow gave away how he’d spent his own torturous hours waiting. I wanted to tell him it will be okay, to lift my hand and wipe away his concern, but the moment I tried, my back arched and a guttural shr
iek escaped my mouth.
“Don’t move!” Something cool pressed against my forehead and I felt a moment of relief before the heat from my skin stole the moisture.
“Kill me, Devlin. I can’t take it much longer.” My plea was in complete contradiction to my newly restored bravery.
“Ssh,” he whispered, his heart in his eyes. This was destroying him and there was nothing I could do. This was a necessary evil and with no other choice but to keep going. A flash of concern hit him and before I could ask what was wrong, I was blasted out of consciousness.
Death. It had found me. There was no reasoning with it, no begging for mercy.
If I thought what I’d endured so far was intense, it held no comparison to the flames that now engulfed me.
As my heart stopped again, doubt crept back in.
Would I make it back this time?
How could I possibly fight against the inevitable?
****
“Thirsty. I’m so thirsty,” I wept, my mouth dry as I craved something, anything, to end my suffering.
I’d awakened again, surprised to find myself alive and even a little stronger. I didn’t know what Devlin had done, but it was like he’d reached into the abyss and pulled me free. The ache in my body had lessened; and although I still hurt, the pain was different. If I hadn’t known better, I would almost say it was invigorating.
Instantly, I tried reaching for Mason through our connection, but I couldn’t find him. I remembered our pathway shattering, but I’d assumed that once I started recovering, it would be restored. After briefly trying again, the desire was lost. It wasn’t important.
Nothing was important except the uncontrollable need to satisfy the deep hunger resonating within me.
It was maddening in its force, driving every thought from me. Something didn’t feel right—a slight niggle in the back of my mind suggesting that something was amiss.
I felt wrong.
It was too crowded in my head. There was a pressure gnawing on my nerves that hadn’t been there before.